I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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