I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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