My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
