Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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