your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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