All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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