turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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