Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
