I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
