So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
