Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
