You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
