Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
