Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
