Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
