As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
