Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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