I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
God, I missed his penis.
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