Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
