I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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