I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
bring money and cleavage
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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