I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
