if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
