i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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