Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize