Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well I just put wine in my tea
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
