Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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