you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
