her vagine was all disorganized.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
