He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
