I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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