apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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