we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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