My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
