Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
