Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
