ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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