so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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