I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
