Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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