I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
