my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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