a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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