I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
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