youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
