ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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