quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize