You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize