i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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