I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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