Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
