I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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