I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
