so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize