Me too!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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