you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
