Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
