My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
