I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
