just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
