I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
