its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
