i just wanna soil my oats bro
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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