I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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