All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
