I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
