Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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