so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
did you just send me my own nude
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
