Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize