He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
