What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
