belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
