is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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