He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
