You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
