8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
