Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
