So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize