Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
