Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
