You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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